For Jocelyn Si, the lead vocalist of Glaswegian alt-rock band walt disco, sometimes, finding yourself means returning to where you started. Their new live performance video series arrives this Trans Awareness Week, following on from their self-discovery self-titled third full-length.

There was no better time for walt disco to self title a body of work than their 2nd October-released third album. Born out of a period in which the Glasgow band came remarkably close to leaving their name behind altogether, they spent the better part of their twenties navigating the peculiarities of making music, growing up and figuring out who they are. So much so that the prospect of starting again had become increasingly appealing. For Jocelyn Si, the band’s lead vocalist, whose own life was undergoing significant change following the beginning of their transition, the idea of a clean slate carried a personal significance worthy of its own moment. Still, somewhere between the uncertainty of life and internal soul-searching, they found themselves returning to the very thing they had been tempted to abandon: the light, love and life of walt disco.

The outcome is walt disco, a record that feels less like a reinvention than a homecoming. Having previously explored the experimental corners of their sonic foundations, the band approached this latest offering with a newfound confidence in their instincts, drawing on the music that first made them fall in love with playing in a band – The Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, MGMT, Sonic Youth, etc. It’s where heavy guitars decorated intricate harmonies and electronic flourishes met songwriting in a way that is uncommonly candid. Chiseled over a four-week period in Brighton, alongside producer Ellie Mason, it also marked a change in their creative process: for the first time, the band recorded the album live as a full unit. What came of it was, in Jocelyn’s words, “like the album we’re always supposed to make” – a summation of their talent, taste, mind and soul.

Across its 11-song tracklist, walt disco reckons with the least glamorous parts of becoming oneself. Together, they question identity, body image, ageing, fractured relationships and the unease that can come from pursuing a creative life without any guarantee of where the road may lead. But for all its introspection, this record refuses to wallow. There are musically rich moments of vulnerability met with flashes of humour, noisy recklessness and a tenderness that could only sonically materialise through perseverance. Defiance. On the penultimate track, “My Body’s Still Mine”, Jocelyn finds some peace in the complicated relationship with their body, while “Look Out For Me” transforms an unexpectedly compassionate encounter with a doctor into a powerful reflection on trans healthcare.

That latter song feels particularly important in the wake of this Trans Awareness Week, as the band brings it into focus through a newly-released series of three live performances featuring fellow non-binary musician and friend, Jacob Alon. Idealised as an opportunity to celebrate the occasion that has been honoured for 27 years now, the performance also speaks to the wider – equally talented – community that has helped sustain walt disco throughout their journey. Joined by friends and fellow musicians from Scotland’s underground scene, the sessions became a communal celebration of sorts; a hazy room full of artists, collaborators and chosen family, making beautiful noise together. 

For Wonderland, Jocelyn digs deeper into how this record was a return to self, the makings of a rallying cry, and that the best things in life really do take a village.

Listen to walt disco…

Three albums in and it’s now in your discography that your new record is self-titled. Does this album feel like walt disco in their most realised form?

Absolutely. It feels like the album we’re always supposed to make, the summation of our talent, our taste, and our psyche.

You’ve mentioned that a lot of memories and experiences from your twenties inspired this self-titled record. What would you say has been the biggest change in the way you’ve approached this record in comparison to your others?

I think we weren’t trying to be too clever or trying to push ourselves out of our comfort zone this time musically. I guess our twenties informed that, to trust ourselves and play to our strengths because it’s important to believe that as an artist that what you have to offer is special and what you have to say is worth saying.

You returned to a lot of the music you loved growing up when making this record. What did you find yourselves drawn to, and why?

Bands like The Smashing Pumpkins, Radiohead, MGMT, Sonic Youth among others. Lots of the bands that inspire teenagers to make music or at least the ones that make young people fall in love with bands.

It’s clear through the tracklist that you’re taking the listener on a really personal journey; one that explores uncertainty and self-doubt, but ultimately, hope and acceptance. As you developed the record, did you find your perspective shifting? And how does that voyage come through sonically in the record?

We were definitely learning a lot about ourselves, a lot about our doubts about our own band in many cases, which was eye opening but quite a beautifully honest experience. I also learned that I had the capacity to be kind to myself through my lyrics even when I wasn’t in my thoughts and I probably learned that I was more spiritual that I thought I was too.

It’s Trans Awareness Week and on walt disco, a lot of the tracks document your experience with navigating the multifacets of your identity – the good, the bad and the ugly. You decided to release a live video of “Look Out For Me” featuring Jacob Alon to celebrate this month. How did this idea come about?

We love the song, and it has an important message about trans healthcare in this country being in a very bad place. So we wanted to give it a moment and have the opportunity to talk about the meaning of the song and to raise awareness on trans+ issues. Jacob Alon is a friend and an incredible non-binary artist,so their playing felt like a magical way to help the message of the song get to more ears.

“My Body Knows When To Run” highlights the power of having a nurturing community to lean on and you bring some of them along as creative collaborators for these performances. How did you go about selecting those choir members? How did you come to include Jacob, Tiger, Scarlett Randle, Junk Pups and so many more?

We honestly just asked as many friends in the scene as we possibly could. Maybe a hundred in the end expecting not that many to show up, but were delighted and honoured that so many did.

It feels like somewhat of a communal celebration. What direction was given to everyone when you were recording? What essence did you want to encompass?

We ran through the song with them like three or four times and then got it so quickly, then when we were filming I kept on telling everyone to be fame monsters. Generally just wanted as much energy and as many gnarly faces as possible.

It’s one track amongst a largely personal record. What has been most important in achieving a sense of peace and harmony in the process of making this record?

I think “My Body’s Still Mine” for me, It’s an incredibly kind song but also quite rallying. So it gives me a lot of peace to sing it and the BIG arrangement makes it very cathartic to play.

When it came to the live recording, what was the energy and rapport like on set?

I think the main energy I felt across the sessions was support. The band and guest musicians held each other and it led to a free and creative environment.

It doubled as an opportunity to truly celebrate and empower some of the great talent making up the underground music scene in Scotland. How influential were those voices in shaping the record?

We wouldn’t have made this record if we weren’t Scottish. Exciting gigs your friends play influence you, some of our friends are geniuses and not too many people know about them but we feel incredibly lucky that we do.

During this socio-political climate where Trans people are being targeted, what has helped or is helping you feel most fearless?

My community, my friends, my band. I feel sad and scared often about it but in many ways I am a privileged trans person with amazing people around me so I feel empowered to use my voice. To help my trans siblings that are less privileged. My butchness empowers me also, I feel inspired by the history of butches who protected their community.

When you look back on the experiences that shaped this record, were there any that surprised you about yourselves in the process of revisiting them?

I think the recording process was just such a dream. There was a lot of love in the room everyday and I guess that’s not surprising because we all love each other but it was just such a privilege to be a part of. I’ll always think about that time in Brighton with so much fondness.

On the final track, you sing about not needing “no Wonderland”, but if you could make up your own, what would your ideal world look like?

I would probably say all leaders be women or those of marginalised genders, and then mandatory therapy for cis men. I reckon you’ve got a good go at eutopia with that.